Guest Post From Brien Regarding the Fugu Incident

I am prefacing this by stating there are some references that only some of my friends will understand, however this is Brien's take on our dining experience with Fugu: p.s. I have to fix up a bunch of links for him but I don't have the time right now. I will add them later today.

One Fish. Two Fish. Blowfish...

Where to start? That's always the question. Quickie Mart – where did the start of that happen? Who was responsible? Jim (either one), Mark, Tara, John, George?

This is the same. As you go back to find the trigger for an event things get muddled. The blame here lies with Scott because he's the one that picked the joint out. The blame lies with George as he asked Scott to pick a place. The blame lies with me because I was silent. The blame lies with Tom for setting a 4am start time on this particular day. Any of these could be considered the start or the cause of the following event or you could go back even further to look for the event that started this. I like to blame Scott, everyone needs a patsy and he makes a perfect one.I could start "in medias res" like a good story writer, but I'm not one of those so the best I can do you is this:

As Egg Shen said: [Shen raises his hands, and a small bolt of lightning jumps between his palms.]"See? That was nothing. But that's how it always begins. Very small." After getting up at 4am for our day starts off with the "Tsukiji Fish Market" and, as fate would have it, our day ends something like 17 hours later in the Ginza district - on a suitably fishy note. Exhausted, hungry and delirious we make a mistake, exhaustion does that to you. We let Scott pick where we eat. He points to the first joint he sees and says "We'll eat there." In we go. Nice little place, the waitresses are dressed in kimono's they sit us down and we get sake, she offers us 'sweet' or 'dry', George and Tom ask for dry. 4 bottle of sake it is. Scott is handed the menu and he flips through it and starts to grouse. He's not a big fish fan, neither am I to be honest, but what can we do - we're in Japan. Everything here in Japan is fish related. Food, candy, drinks, everything has a fish option. Most places have a non fish option, this place doesn't. This place is special. Not only is it a 100% fish joint, it appears to be a place that specializes in Fugu. About 90% of the menu is made up of Fugu dishes. Fried, boiled, raw, you name they had an option for it. Fugu for those that don't know is puffer fish (a.k.a. blowfish.) – as you can see by its name it's what you might call a "fish" and (by the way) poisonous. Not only "poisonous" but lethal poisonous (Did I mention there's no known cure for the toxin?) depending on the stats you read on average 10 people die from eating this stuff every year. And after ingesting improperly prepared Fugu you've got 4-24 hours before you suffocate to death from paralysis. The folks that prepare Fugu have to be licensed Federally (for lack of a better word) to be able to work in a restaurant and make this stuff. Not only has Scott picked a fish joint, but, it appears, one that specializes in uber-poisonous fish dishes. Thanks Scott. Scott cowboys up and orders the only thing he can after picking the restaurant of doom – flounder, practically the only non-Fugu dish on the menu. Tom and George are starving and order heaps and heaps of food – stuff with tentacles and suckers and fins and, oh yeah, poison. Tom is the one that actually grabs the bull by the horns and orders the poison fish – George gets a bunch of other stuff and I, looking for a hot meal and not hot death, order noodles. Now I know that I am not what you'd call world traveled. To quote James Caan (can't find a link to the quote. Movie was Alien Nation): "I like my horizons nice and narrow." I like steak and potatoes, Coca Cola and Cheez-its and M&Ms – end of list. Ordering the noodles was a stretch for me. So now there's this giant pause while we are served our Sake and wait for the Fugu. I started laughing and I laughed for 10 solid minutes, and I think the staff thought I was drunk as they didn't offer us any more sake after the first round, which is unusual. Just one of those things where I just started giggling and finally had tears running out of my eyes. I couldn't tell you what I thought was so funny, but I couldn't stop. Perhaps it was being suddenly faced with death – that might've been it. So we're all busting Scott's chops about picking the one joint in all of Tokyo that's got nothing on the menu but killer fish. Scott finally breaks down and says something along the lines of "I was tired and my knees hurt and I just wanted to sit down and it was the first place I saw." There's the reason we've been handed a fishy death sentence, he wanted to sit down. The wait staff brings out plate after plate of food for the guys. We had a hard time fitting it all on the table. Finally after a bit they bring out the Fugu. Thin sliced, white and a lot of it. After a little bit of mental debate Tom eats his Fugu, and George and I not wanting Tom to suffer a toxin related death alone, and perhaps a small perverse desire to possibly raise the Fugu death rate in Japan by 33% - each have a piece. Having burned mouths from previous meals none of us could tell if the tingling in our mouths was just from previous hot food injuries or perhaps now it was poison coursing through our veins. I'm sure dropping poisonous fish on a cut helps speed the process along. Needless to say the story ends kinda with a whimper and not a bang as, I regret to inform you after all this buildup, none of us died. It could have ended with some kind of strangled gurgle but it didn't and there you have it: Baby's First Fugu.